Australia (a.k.a. How to blow as much money as is humanly possible in 6 weeks!)

After 5 months acting the fool in Asia we decided that the Australians would be our next victims. We flew into Darwin and spent a few days chilling out there & venturing into the bush (...it was Dave's first encounter with the bush so understandably he was a little nervous).

From there we flew to Cairns and hit as many spots as we could along the east coast until we hit Sydney. After drinking like fishes for 8 days it was time for Dave & myself to part - him for his flashy new job with a marketing company & shiny new apartment, me for 6 more months of boozing, scrounging and generally acting like an under-financed backpacker-type around New Zealand and South America. Bring it on!

This was one of the first sites that greeted me while strolling around in Darwin..not too sure the paintjob will help the re-sale value though!

Enjoying a well-needed free steak dinner & all-night free bar tab after winning local 5-a-side tournament in Darwin


Sampling life in the bush in Litchfield National Park

Quick tip...standing next to the two palest people in Australia can do wonders for your tan

Learning to do the "Bloods" sign during a bus pub crawl in Cairns..well pleased with myself

Stopping off for a breather during a lung-busting bike ride in 30 degree heat in Magnetic Island...living like a slob for 5 months really didn't pay off that day!

Even I have to admit that this fella is cute, Magnetic Island National Park

En route to Brisbane on the trusty old Greyhound

Our vessel for our Whitsundays voyage...Habibi

Drunken shenanigans aboard Habibi...having to spend 30 mins in a dirty bin full of the day's leftovers was a tad harsh punishment though..

Managed to convince a girl to be in a picture with me. After 5 months of trying this was a huge moment for me

The two of us putting spandex back to the forefront of fashion

Group photo no. 168 on Fraser Island

WALSHY!! Left...no, not that left the other left you tool!

Local aboriginal tries in vain to teach us to start a fire using only wood & a coconut husk

Quiet session on the guitar turned into a mini-gig when 40 extra people rocked up from another camp..I'd have been lost without the head torch!

Our van decided to pack it in just as we were about to board the ferry back to the mainland..

Re-united with the Deloitte girls in Noosa

I loves the goon..

Some lovely rocks...

A close encounter with a frickin massive lizard, Noosa Heads (..just after our unfortunate encounter with a nudist beach full of wrinkly old men!

At a "Waifs" gig in Brisbane, great show..check them out if you haven't heard of them

The view from our hostel in hippy Nimbin..this place is paradise. Could've easily spent 2 weeks there instead of the 2 days we could spare

Re-united with the fellow backbackers we met in Vietnam - World Bar, Sydney

Two gimps ruin perfectly good photo of Sydney Harbour Bridge

Not a patch on Cork Opera House but at least they're making an effort..

Bali...surfing takes a back seat to debauchery

...in a word Bali was messy. For what was supposed to be a chill-out section of the trip there was a horrendous amount of alcohol consumed which did interfere quite a bit with our ambitions to turn pro-surfers overnight. For every wave we caught about 100 of them caught us, they caught us baaaaad.

After being on the road for 5 months it was great to see some friendly (if somewhat disfigured) faces in the shape of Dave Cahill, Eoin Barry & Richard Kelly. As they have little opportunity to dispute it I'd like to lay the blame of the messy boozefest squarely at their door although my insistence that we regularly re-fuel with shoulders of dubious local rum (...the infamous Mansion House) may have contributed to the alcohol haze...slightly.

View from Dreamland beach..beautiful, quiet secluded spot with absolutely monstrous waves which threw me around like a rag doll..

Normally I'd have no issues with Walshy jumping into the pool fully clothed..this time though I was a bit miffed that he decided to use my clothes...I did repay the favour later on that night/morning though

Late night/early morning drunken pool-based shenanigans, tom-foolery and all-round hi-jinks

Yards from the lads' villa we stumbled upon a secret cock-fighting ring...on this evidence cock's have a hard life

Bubbles shares some of his top-rate deep-throat techniques

Dave Cahill and myself gatecrash a local newlywed couple's romantic beach-front photo shoot (...just prior to this picture the bride pinched my ass..I kid you not)

The strain of all-day boozing starts to take its toll on some..

The lads' ridiculously bling MTV cribs-style villa..."Villa Kebun"

Quotes of the holiday -

1. "Come here to me Walshy...I reckon these birds are kosher" - Bubbles (..upon discovering a rare gaggle of local ladies that WEREN'T looking for payment in return for services rendered)

2. "Hey...how about you f**k me and then I f**k you?" - Random local ladyboy offers Bubbles a present he just about manages to turn down